6.21.2010

The Dark side of the Moon

It's been over a month since I've blogged....I've held out on you.  I've been told to watch my P's, Q's, &every comma in between...and that's not really easy for me so I figured silence is golden. I'm a good rambler & I can go off in every direction..I'm sure you can tell that just by looking at the clothes I design!  My personal life has been nothing short of a nightmare....
My life is running pretty much parrallel to that of Sandra Bullock's.  Tis true that I woke up exactly a month ago, to this day, to find out that the man I married, who I thought to be a four star general turned out to actually be a Russian spy. (not literally)  Little did I know that I've been sleeping with the enemy. (Actually, my gut knew..a woman's intuition never fails)  I'm sure you are following what I'm trying to say.  I have never felt such utter humiliation or lifeless in all of my life.  I've spent my days walking through a tunnel with absolutely no way of knowing if there is a light at the end, a sign that says "do not pass go, do not collect $200", or if I'm going to take a slight detour of my own & run for the hills.  It's dishearting, to say the least, finding out that when you gave it your all, your best was never good enough. That's the stage I'm in at this moment & my emotions are like an automobile engine idling on high. Unlike Miss Bullock, I took the road less traveled & decided to work through the tough times....after I heard alot of apologies & crying eyes, of course. 
So, like a smart woman, since I had to make him quit his job, obviously, (45 minutes away & 13 hour days amongst the scandal itself, not in my lifetime!) I put him to work! Mr. MOMI has truly become Mr. MOMi.  He might quite possibly be the best employee I could have asked for.  I don't think I've changed a diaper in a week & I feel fabulous :)


So that spur of the moment, random beach vacation that I took 4 weeks ago with no modeling involved was a much needed getaway since my sanity was at stake!
p.s. If I close shop & start working for the FBI don't be surprised....I can catch a liar like no other! However, an NYPD interigation officer if not my cup of tea...I played that role for a week & it is truly draining.
Cheers!... & if you ever find yourself walking in my shoes..I have the perfect book to recommend, that is, until I write one of my own ;)

7 comments:

Heather said...

Rachel!!! My heart sank when I read this post. It is so hard when your life is affected so deeply others poor choices. Good luck to YOU and Mr. Momi.

Jennifer said...

My heart goes out to you too! I chose to stay too and work through it and I am sooo glad I did. 4 kids later and a husband that is the best.

I rarely think about those awful days but when I read a story like yours I am reminded of the pain. It will go away....

Hugs and love you way!

Mande said...

I am rooting for you Rachel....& I have been praying for you every night since I first read about this on facebook a month ago. My heart breaks for you and I know this is hard. I hope you both can work through this and come out of it all more in love than ever. xoxo

colleen banman said...

God bless you and your family. I am praying for strength for you, peace for your babies, and reconciliation for your relationship.

Thanks for being so open, when things are in the light they lose a lot of power!

colleen
www.banmanland.blogspot.com

Hallie Marie said...

Thanks for sharing, as a lot of us FEEL like we know you! I too am glad that you are pushing through and keeping your family together, it takes a stronger woman to do this! and might i add YOU ARE LOOKING GOOOOD MOMMA!

pinksarahh said...

You are a strong momi! The pics were beautiful and you look awesome!!

So sorry you had to go thru this but everything is gonna be alright....(hear the tune in my head?)

Nikki said...

Love you sweetie and am always here for you! I'm glad that he is home and changing those diapers!!! :) Wishing you guys all the best!